1977

by ROSTI

The needle slipped in so easily
And created a profound change.
I was sickened first from the hepatitis my patient transferred to me
But there was more.
A madness that turned me from normal
To having long periods where no rest could be found
Despite the narcotics, the barbs, the benzos.
My unwanted companions for 13 long years.
And between the hyperactivity,
Bone-crushing depression for which I sought help
From amphetamines, cocaine, meth.

Over that decade plus,
I treated myself, a fool for a patient,
Having more and more trouble
Modulating these foreign moods
Which had become commonplace and routine.
4 marriages, 3 divorces,
Another marriage on the rocks.
And becoming habituated to my chemical compounds
At one time thought of as friends but now enemies.
It was this fourth marriage on the skids
And my separation from my son that wore me out finally.

I chose the barbs as my exit tool.
Lying there conscious of the fact that I needed to remember to breathe.
Somehow a friend I had known from years’ back
Just happened to show up,
Just happened to find me in a stupor,
Just happened to act rapidly to call 911,
Just happened to.
I was comfortably numb during the resuscitation,
Thank God!
I really have no recall until I was transferred to Rehab
For detox and a 30-day drug and alcohol program.

After detox I was diagnosed…
Bipolar 2 was the name they gave me.
“And, oh, by the way, you have AIDS, too.”
I recall the perfunctory way the doc
Just slipped that test result in front of my face
And said only, “Don’t do any more drugs.”
Not noticing how dumbstruck I was
Offering no compassion.
Perhaps he knew the relationship of AIDS to Bipolar?
Maybe not…
But I uncovered it and thought back to 1977.

That gave me insight.
Whenever I’m sick
It’s best for me to create a mental picture of my illness.
So now I had one.
A link back to that patient in 1977
The one with dementia
And weight loss
And cryptococcal meningitis
After all those years I had, unknowingly,
Made one of the very first AIDS diagnoses.
A dis-ease I had given myself!

Despite tremendous personal, financial and professional issues,
Despite the cognitive impairment that went with that diagnosis,
Despite the endless array of varying combination of pills and potions,
I aligned myself with the BEST practitioners I could find.
I followed treatment plans to the very letter.
Rigorously…
I enrolled in experimental protocols.
I struggled to survive
Not one, not two, but three
Life-threatening illnesses…
After 25 years, it finally paid off.

The lynchpin was dumping the “drug of choice”
And starting an atypical and two antidepressants-
An SSRI and SNRI.
I suddenly became calm
And normal like I hadn’t been since before the fateful day
Back in 1977.
It was almost as dramatic as flipping a light switch
And flooding an unfamiliar room with light.
To see the unseen for those thirty plus years.
To be back in my own skin again.
To achieve normalcy.

After those eighteen years of work
The rubrics cube of me was finally aligned correctly.
Today, I’ve been in the same relationship for over a decade.
Today, I’m residing at the same place for fourteen years.
Today, I’m an effective father and spouse.
Today, I have personal responsibility for myself
And my remission.
Today, I engage in activities that are congruent with my nature,
Which is that of an intelligent, empathetic, resourceful person,
Able to deal effectively with life on life’s terms
And share my successes with those who would have them.

The takeaway?
Recovery IS possible
As long as one has the capacity to work hard
With themselves
And their healthcare team
IF I could do it
That means it IS possible
Like anything of value
It requires effort
And courage
And, I’d guess, a bit of luck.


© Richard A. Martin, Jr. MD CPC, 2016

Read this and other poems on Rosti's website

Archaic Word(s) Definitions

Archaic Words

Definitions of the words for the Archaic Word(s) Poem Contest. 

abroad: out of doors

ague: malaria or a similar illness

bedlam: an asylum; an old woman

billow: a large sea wave

blow: produce flowers or be in flower

camelopard: a giraffe

corse: a corpse

crankum: an elaborate decoration or detail

dandiprat: a young or insignificant person

dark: ignorant (as in dark poetry, not a racial slur)

dot: a dowry from which only the interest or annual income was available to the husband

doxy: a lover or mistress

drab: a slovenly woman

Archaic Word(s) (A-D) Poem Contest

English Oxford Dictionary defines archaic words as those ‘no longer in everyday use or have lost a particular meaning in current usage but are sometimes used to impart an old-fashioned flavour to historical novels, for example, or in standard conversation or writing just for a humorous effect.’

Some are fancy, floral, roll off the tongue with all the lyrical elegance and sophistication of an eighteenth century philosopher. Some are just damn goofy. No in between.

This contest has two options. Below those options is the list of words to choose from. Have fun with this one :)

Option One: Use as many archaic words as possible in a poem… without looking up the definition! Use each word only as you think it should be used.

Option Two: Choose one word. That's the title. First stept, use the association you have for the word, what you think it means, to write a poem. Second step, focus on the archaic meaning to add  to your poem, but don't erase anything written. 

Hint: I'll probably publish every single entry so long as directions are followed

abroad, ague, bedlam, billow, blow, 

camelopard, corse, crankum,

dandiprat, dark, dot, doxy, drab

Author Spotlight — Riya Zach

Monthly Choice Award Winner

My Life, I Author

by Maria Zach

How did the prompt inspire your story?

The idea that somebody else controls my life - I've always found that scary. I guess I have this innate desire to be in control at all times. At the same time, I've no wish to know what's next; I like the unpredictability of life.

• What genre(s) do you write?

I've dabbled in Fantasy, SciFi, Crime, Horror and Romance. I say dabbled because I find it hard to draw lines and place my work into boxes.

I've mixed Crime and Paranormal; SciFi and Romance. I find a lot of enjoyment in mixing genres.

• Which do you prefer to write: short stories, poetry, novellas, novels, essays, nonfiction… ?

When I started, I wrote mainly nonfiction and poetry. Since then, I've written short stories, flash fiction and nonfiction.

I've started on a longer piece now. I don't know yet whether it'll be a novella or a novel.

• What genre(s) do you read?

Everything. Every fucking thing that I can get my hands on. But my (current) favorites are fantasy and speculative fiction.

• What made you want to become a writer?

I hold conversations with imaginary people. I have imaginary conversations with real people.

Every. Single. Day.

My imagination has helped me through a lot. I developed that from the books I read as a child and young adult.

Initially, I just wanted to get the voices out of my head. Now, I'd like to share the gift of imagination with other people.

• What is your first memory of writing?

I have no first memory of writing. But the first time I thought of myself as a writer was as late as 2013.

• What and /or Who inspires you to write?

The imaginary people - they need an outlet!

• What is your favorite book?

Too many favorites.

Pride and Prejudice, Harry Potter, A Town Like Alice, Water for Elephants, Letter from Peking, We Have Always Lived in the Castle, Rebecca - to name a few.

• What do you look for in a book?

Realistic characters. Suspense.

• What turns you away from a book?

A weak opening doesn't necessarily turn me away. I like to give the book the benefit of the doubt so I try to make it through the first 2k-3k words before giving it up.

But bad grammar and obvious plot holes are an instant turnoff; they tell me that the author is not interested in their readers.

• Who is your favorite author(s)?

Jane Austen, George Orwell, J.K.Rowling, Enid Blyton, Agatha Christie, Shirley Jackson, Paulo Coelho, Tolkien, C.S. Lewis

• Are you a published writer? If so, what have you published? If not, are you planning to publish or is writing simply for pleasure?

Like I said before, initially it was all for pleasure. Recently, I've started looking at publishers. I've sent out a couple of poems, a flash or two. Besides Scribblers Chamber and 121words, I've received only one other acceptance so far.

Read Riya Zach's story:

My Life, I Author

And remember... Write like it's criminal! 

Monthly Choice Award Winner

My Life, I Author
by Maria Zach

I close the book and replace it upon the shelf and walk slowly down the stairs. My bare feet slap against the wood of the staircase. Taking a glass off the counter, I fill it with water from the tap. I take a sip. Another. It's eerily silent. Of course, it's silent - the children are at school.

I return my attention to the glass of water in my hand and realise I've been following the book word for word.

It gives a minute by minute account of my life until the day I die some twenty years into the future.

I throw away the rest of the water. I'm not going to let some book dictate my life, I decide.

I rush, my feet now pounding upon the staircase, and return to the kitchen with the book. Banging it down onto the counter, I skim feverishly to today's date — 28, September.

I'm supposed to be setting lunch now in anticipation of the kids. Then I get a bit of work done and afterwards go to the gym while the kids are at their homework. Basically the same routine I've been following for the past four years. As if on cue, the smell of burning paper pierces my nostrils. Oops! The pie. It's probably burnt to a crisp.

I slam the book closed and leave it upon the counter. I run up the stairs two at a time.

Opening my wardrobe, I take out a duffel bag. I stuff some clothes into it - two pairs of jeans, three or four blouses, a jacket and some rolled up underwear. I change into a fresh pair of trousers and pull on a freshly ironed blouse.

Swinging the duffel bag onto my shoulder, I hurry into the kids' room and shove a similar set of clothes for each of my two girls into a medium-sized haversack. As I heave the haversack onto my back, I hear the kitchen door jiggle open; the kids are back. There's a moment of doubt.

"Mom?" The clatter of crockery. They'll find the chars soon enough if I don't hurry. I pull my hair out of its messy bun and tie it up in an acceptably messy ponytail. Taking a deep breath, I start down the stairs.

Nyla is sitting slumped at the kitchen table. She raises her head as I come down the stairs and cocks one reddish blonde eyebrow. Viva, her long black hair hanging loose about her frame, finishes arranging the spoons and looks up to grin at me. The grin soon blossoms into a beam. I motion them toward the truck and throw the bags into the back of my Tundra.

Viva is bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Mom, are you OK?" Nyla asks me, an uncertain tone.

"What's that nonsense, young lady?" I ask her. She shrugs and gets in the back.

I return to lock up. Viva's school bag is lying on the floor near the kitchen counter. I leave it there and snatch up the keys. Perhaps, it would be a good idea to take the book too. I toss it in with the bags and get into the driver's seat. Viva is already strapped into the passenger's.

As I turn the key the ignition, I eye Nyla in the rearview mirror. She's staring out the window. Her face is glum. Something has happened at school. I sigh — 14 year olds can be very hard on themselves; and on others.

She senses my gaze and turns to look at me in the mirror. "I'm hungry," she tells me, eyes of one with great suffering. I almost laugh out loud. 14 year olds can also give you well needed reality checks.

"Just 10 minutes. At the nearest drive-in," I promise her.

I turn off the drive and Viva chimes in, "Mom, where are we going?"

"I'm not sure sweetie. We'll take the seaside route and set up someplace we like before sundown. How's that sound?"

"Cool!" she responds.

I glance at her. The beam is still plastered to her face. This time I do laugh out loud. Thank God for sparkly eyed ten year olds.

Three hours later, we check in to the 'Turquoise Bay Guesthouse'. Viva and Nyla — school woes forgotten — run out to the beach to catch the last rays of the sun. I'm tempted to take the book along as I follow them. Plopping myself down on the sand, close enough for the waves to touch my feet, I grin as I watch them splash around.

I open the book to today's date once again. As I read over my day, the grin slides off my face. The book has updated itself!

I turn the pages and skim over the events of the next couple of days. Apparently I'm going to spend an extended weekend here and then return home on Sunday.

Humph, let's see about that! Whoever thought I was going to let myself be outsmarted by a book would have to think more than twice. 

I close the book and set it beside me. A strong gust of wind pushes the cover open and blows the pages back to the date. Horrified, I watch the words spell themselves out:

... outsmarted by a book would have to think more than twice... 

Author Spotlight - Vincent Piazza

Vincent Piazza is one of the Old or Ancient Ones, the Elder Gods, of cosmic good, and those of cosmic evil, bearing many names, and themselves of different groups, as if associated with the elements and yet transcending them: for there are the Water Beings, hidden in the depths; those of Air that are the primal lurkers beyond time; those of Earth, horrible animate survivors of distant eons.....or perhaps he’s just some asshole who waits for words to come scrabbling out of his head, clawing at his skull, skittering upon a keyboard in New Orleans, you decide.

Facebook Page
Twitter
Instagram

About... 
Artist,Writer, Taoist, Manager at Heads Up Emporium, I have many hats…This most of all: I ask myself in the most silent hour of night: must I do Art? I dig into myself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if I meet this solemn question with a strong, simple “I must,” then I build my life in accordance with this necessity; My whole life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse. Then, as if no one had ever tried before, I try to create what I see and feel and love and lose and gain from the path I walk…

Inspirations... 
I’m inspired by the odd and unsure. Starting something I have no idea how to finish, witnessing people go for something new and strange – anything that has the potential for failure, walks dark corridors, wins in spite of itself, gets my heart and creativity pumping.

I am honored to have Vincent as a dear friend. He is not only an amazingly talented writer, but an extraordinary artist as well. I have several custom pieces commissioned on canvas (the above being my favorite)  and, because I'm lucky like this, I also have his piece featured in an episode of NCIS! I have done a bit of stalking to bring you the art exhibits below. Enjoy...
— J Snow

Raw Artists (epic sideshow and where I stole a bit of his information *shhh*)
Behance

Read Vincent's winning poem

Fast Flash Fiction Contest Winner

Always Raining 
By Vincent Piazza

It was raining, always raining.

Wet, dripping off the tip of his nose like a grainy black and white Kodak photograph.

The street smelled of crisco tinged anal sex and sour pomegranates.

His long drawn out sigh Extended out into the fourth dimension, bellicose spiders cutting out paper dolls with titanium scissors.

The green and red laser beams reflected off of the dirty oil slicked street water.

She smiled, and licked the rainwater off of my nose.

The bus never came, the rain never stopped, and his time was coming to an end.

He turned to watch his life pass in a slow splash of an oncoming car as he stepped off the curb.

She wept, and still, it never stopped raining.

The Cover Letter

The cover letter is easy. Let's keep it that way. Though it is not a necessity, it is regarded as rude and unprofessional to send a manuscript without a cover letter.

Cover letters are not the same as query letters, but it is the first impression you make on a publisher. It is the hello and handshake upon meeting a potential employer, one you greatly desire to work for. The cover letter is the equivalent to looking someone square in the eye when introduced. It sets the tone for the relationship that will ensue, be it one of mutual trust and respect or one of worry and fear your lawyers will soon come banging on their doors in the middle of the night.

Long story short —

• 1 page
• 3 paragraphs
• Simple
• Direct
• Signed
• Viola!

Paragraph One

• Blurb
• Title
• Genre
• Word Count
• Target Audience *

Paragraph two

• Introduction
• Interesting Facts (if relevant to submission)
• Published Works
• Credentials
• education
• literary awards
• writing organizations
• memberships
• affiliations
• Qualifications to be Writer of Book

Paragraph Three

• Author Bio **
• Sincerely,
• A Respectful and Professional Writer

* Target audience refers to your reader base (eg, ‘young adult/picture book/middle grade’ or ‘YA/PB/MG’ or ‘horror fans’ or ‘readers of true crime’ or ‘insert who would be interested in your book here’)

** Author Bio is written third person and approximately 300 words, basically your entire resume chopped to a paragraph

The Query Letter

A query letter… well, that's an entirely different beast than the cover letter. Don't confuse the two. It's the pickup line, the light, enticing touch of a lover's lips on an earlobe, the fingernail lightly tracing well defined ab muscles, the tantalizing strawberries and cream waffles with whip cream.

The purpose is to make the publisher want more. Make them beg for more. Polishing a query letter to a glistening sheen is time well invested, but don't make the mistake of losing your professionalism in the process.

On the not-so-romantic angle is it is a tactic used by the publisher to cut the number of manuscript submissions, thereby creating another difficult hurdle for the new writer. Not only does your work need to be next-to-godly-high-quality, but your query letter has to seduce the only people on the planet sick to death of being seduced.

Your query letter should be short yet contain a strong sense of your writing style and the story you're pitching. The problem is fiction is a matter of taste so the letter needs to be targeted expertly and individually to each publisher. Do not rely on the one-size-fits-all tactic.

Do not query unless your manuscript is complete, polished, and ready for publication. Querying prior to this stage shows a publisher you don't understand the basics of the profession, and they will shy away from your future queries. Do consider including an excerpt from the manuscript, the beginning paragraph if it's a stellar hook, but be sure the guidelines do not prohibit doing so.

In Short…

• One Page
• 12pt Times New Roman
• Single Spaced
• Elements (approx 200-400 words (see below)
• Brevity is best — Get in, get out

Elements of the Query Letter 

Approximately 200-400 words

• Personalization
• Customize the letter for the recipient
• The What
• Genre
• Category
• Word Count
• Title /Subtitle
• The Hook (100-200 words for most novels)
• Protagonist
• Protagonist’s Conflict
• Protagonist's Options
• The sizzle
• Author Bio
• Third Person POV
• Fiction Writing Credits
• Nonfiction Writing Credits
• Writing Credentials
• Education
• Memberships
• Awards
• Special Research
• ‘Thank you’
• Sincerely,

Author I. Name

Mwuaah and Viola! Query letter! Good luck on that book deal, and don't forget…

Write like it's criminal!

Industry Standard Formatting Guidelines for Manuscript Submissions

The preferred formatting method of most publishers for manuscript submissions is as follows, but, again, read the guidelines as outlined by each publishers on their website before sending a single word. One mistake could cost you the deal of a lifetime!

Do not treat the choice of a publisher to not define a particular font as an open invitation to be creative. If not specified, it's because the publisher expects the writer to know the industry standards regarding formatting. Show them you do. Show them you are professional and intelligent. Show them respect and they will return it. It doesn't mean they will publish you, but it does mean you leave a favorable impression on them for the next submission. Make that a primary goal.


Standard MS Submission Guidelines 

• 1” Margins (top, bottom, right, left)
• Double Spaced
• 12pt Courier or Times New Roman *
• Black Ink on White Paper, Always
• Left Align (Do NOT justify align)

First Page

• Header
• Upper Left Corner:
• Legal Name
• Address
• Phone
• Writing Society Memberships (if applicable)

Upper Right Corner

Word Count (rounded to nearest 100th; example: 54,635 should be written as 54,600)


Midway Down Page:

Title (centered)

Two Spaces Below Title:

Byline (pen name if used)

Two Double Spaces Below Byline:

Start Story

All Following Pages

• Header
• Upper Right Corner:
• Last Name
• Title
• Page Number
• Begin first paragraph of each chapter or section at the margin
• Indent all succeeding paragraphs

Bottom of Story Ending Page

“THE END”  (some of you don't want to do this, some outright refuse, but remember, one single page removed or out of order, something easily done in the hands of another, and you get to stand at the finish line but never cross. Publisher suggestion. Not mine.



So now you know the correct way to submit your work to a publisher. Write like it's criminal!